Neal Sheeran

Rants, Raves, and Geekery

Can I Get an 8-Track?


This morning I’m listening to AM Sports radio on the drive to work. During the commercial break, one of those completely lame “let me tell you how to increase your personal wealth” ads come on. Normally I block that crap out, until the annoying pitchman with a British accent says “call now and I’ll send you my free tape…“

Tape? Are you kidding me? Did I wake up in 1986? And then I thought…does he mean audio or VHS? A nanosecond later, the other half of my brain chimed in with does it f@%#&ing matter? Does anyone even still own a tape player? Or a VCR?

Unless this tape was actually made in 1986 and this putz has been sitting on about a million of them stuffed in an environmentally-sealed warehouse for twenty years, I do not understand how this is even possible. I haven’t seen an audio tape player for sale in years. What, making a CD was too technologically challenging? How about a DVD? Or a podcast…or a smoke signal.

I’m sure there are some high-speed mouthbreathers out there who would jump all over an offer like this (or we wouldn’t hear them anymore and Tony Robins would be selling insurance in Topeka), but I gotta think that most of them have moved onto iPods and TiVo’s by now.